Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
