Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
