You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
