would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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