you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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