So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
