no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A bitchslap is in order.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
