I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
where does the pee come out of this thing
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
