At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
