I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
