Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
