I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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