i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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