I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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