she was so not down for the gang bang
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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