there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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