The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
