what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have fence marks all over my body
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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