The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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