I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
