walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
