im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
