What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
