Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
