There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am available for nakedness
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
