What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am midnight drunk by noon
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
