if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
nutella sex= disaster
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
