it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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