Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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