i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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