pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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