No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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