Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
