I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
whose parrot is this?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
