I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
