I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
