...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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