when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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