Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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