Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
