Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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