I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
