im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
