The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
this is an emotional support booty call
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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