my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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