ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
