I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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