I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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