I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
