she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
